Dear Birth Mom

I write this entry with much sensitivity.  This is a sensitive area, one not to be misrepresented, I pray I do not cause any hurt with this.  I only write this entry because it has been nagging at my mind.  I lay in bed at night thinking about this subject.  It burdens my heart like nothing else.  

Birth mom..... what do you think of when you hear those words?  I am ashamed to say, but I had many preconceived notions about birth moms before we entered into the adoption process.  For that I am sorry.  I was ignorant and naive.  That is not an excuse.  It is an admission. I think if we are all honest, when we hear "birth mom" we probably each have a "picture" of who would "fit" into that label.  I can guarantee you, we are all probably way off.  

Our society, media, and culture, especially in our churches (again, sorry, I really am not trying to offend) do not have an accurate view of the amazing women labeled birth mom.  Birth moms on television are not accurately portrayed.  Birth moms are given little or no credit of how amazing they are.  

So who are they?  We each encounter birth moms every day.  I promise you, you probably do not recognize them, because they do not fit your "picture."  These women sit among us in class, work beside us, worship next to us, serve us, and are friends to us.  Yet they carry with them a pain that they may hide very well.  They carry with them a hurt that has left a constantly open wound in their heart.  A wound so deep, that Christ himself is the only one who can heal it.  

We do not need to know their circumstances as to how they became a birth mom.  We know everything we need to know about these women based on their choice to be a birth mom.  We know they are the bravest, most courageous, strongest women out there.  They are selfless.  They know a love that is beyond anything I can ever express or imagine.  They know they true meaning of sacrifice.  They love like no one would choose to love.  They love, knowing they may not ever get to experience this loved being returned to them.  You birth mom, are beautiful.  You deserve respect.  You deserve the love of your child, much more than I ever will.  You are incredible.  I can only imagine being as brave and as selfless as you.  

Thank you.  Thank you.  Those words do not say enough but this is the one area I fall short of knowing what to say.  I only pray that God will bless you so abundantly that you may have just a taste of the portion of blessing you deserve.  Thank you.  

This is not just to our beautiful birth mom (to whom I am grateful every day), but to any woman out there who carries with her this hurt.  I pray today you experience the love of Christ like no other.  That you experience a love that reminds you of your treasured child.  That you will know you are not forgotten.  

I love you dear birth moms.  

Ephesians 3:14-19

14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Adoption. It's What God Does.

I love to read and study God's word.  However, there are many concepts in the Bible that I probably do not fully yet understand, let alone know how to apply.  Because of this I believe that God has allowed me to live out a few concepts he desperately wants me to grasp.  One of those concepts is adoption.  
Growing up in the church, I cannot count how many times I read the great verses in the bible about adoption.  To be quite honest with you, I read them or heard them and often was unmoved by their importance, "understanding" them but not really understanding how much they applied to me.  Not just me, but every child  of God.  Not just every child of God, but every human being ever created.  
Adoption is God's idea.  Adoption is what God does.  It is his design.  
It wasn't until we walked through the steps of our adoption that I finally "got it". 
 Ephesians 1:3-6
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us[b] for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.
This is going to be lengthy...just warning you, but stick with me!  
When we went through the adoption process the first time, they have you fill out a "domestic service plan."  This plan is where you "pick" your child.  Even writing this makes me cringe.  You can specify everything about the child that you are willing and open to adopting.  Everything from race, gender, age, medical background, birth parents background, everything.  When we filled this service plan out we said, any child.  Any child God has for us to adopt, we will adopt.  We choose in our hearts that no matter what child God brought into our home we would love and parent.  Any child.  
This is exactly what God has done for us!  All of us!  He looks at us as says, "any of those who will come!"  Any Child!  This is huge!  We are all chosen by him!
We choose any child, but really our choice didn't make a difference until that child (or his birth mom) choose us.  She had to make that choice in her heart before he actually became ours.  She made a huge sacrifice to allow this adoption to happen. This sacrifice caused and may very well still cause her tremendous pain.  She did it though, because she loved our son, her son.  
This is like Christ going on our behalf to his father saying, "I want to sacrifice myself for them."  HE did this for US!  
Our son also needed to accept the gift of adoption.  He acknowledged us as his parents.  This is what you must do to become a child of God! You must accept the gift and privilege of adoption.  Then you take your place as a child of the King! In the forever family of God. 
Once our son became ours, he got a new name.  He took on our last name.  He became ours. 
We are called blessed by God.  We are called children of the KING!  
Now, we didn't wait for our son to start "acting like us"  He didn't have to prove himself to us.  He immediately, from day one, received the benefits of being our child.  
Just like us.  When we choose to take our place as God's child, we don't have to "clean ourselves up."  We don't have to sound like a child of God.  We immediately get the benefits of being His child.  Now, eventually those things will happen the more time we spend with Him.  But we don't have to wait to eat at the Kings table until we "fix" ourselves.  He says, "come sit, rest, commune with me, I will do the work!" 
At our finalization hearing we received a seal from our state and we had to take an oath stating that he is just as much "our child" as any biologic child we have or will ever have.  We also had to sign an oath stating that he is an heir to our inheritance, just as much as any biologic child.  That we were forever his parents.  WOW!  
We are given a seal as children of God.  We are given the Holy Spirit.  This will never ever be taken from us.  God is forever our parent.  Our perfect parent.  There is nothing we can ever do to change that.  Nothing- that means NOTHING, can pluck us from his hand, not even ourselves.  
Now some day, our son could decide that he doesn't really like us as parents. He could try to "remove" himself from our family.  This will never change our position as parents though!  This is sealed for forever!  
How awesome is this security that we have in God's family!  
I can say, I never truly "got" how important our adoption into God's family is until he showed me by allowing us to live it out.
Multiple times every day, I look at our son adoringly.  I cannot believe he is mine.  I am crazy about him.  God looks at me the same way.  He looks at each of us this way.  He is crazy about us.
For this reason and so much more, I love adoption.

Who do I look like?

Ephesians 1:3-10

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5 he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8 which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight 9 making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which heset forth in Christ 10 as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

I have had this thought milling in my mind all week long and I would like to share it. 
Our two oldest biologic children are spitting images of my husband.  I often think that I really would have no claim on them based on their looks or even their personalities or characteristics.  They are my husbands children through and through.  I am happy about this!  I can't think of a better man to strive to be like!  They will have very fortunate wives someday if they turn out just like Adam!  
Our youngest who is adopted looks very much like his birth mom.  She is a beautiful woman.  Not just in appearance but her heart also.  
However, there are times when he gives me a look, or something that he does, that makes me think "wow, he looks so much like me right now!"  Now see, genetically, that makes no sense.  But, he is with me day in and day out.  So he has my personality traits, my characteristics.  I love seeing me in him!  
One of the reason I have loved adopting is because I feel like I fully grasp and understand (as much as I ever will this side of heaven!) my adoption into God's family.   This week I have been struck with the thought....are there days or moments that Christ looks at me and thinks "wow, she looks just like me right now!"? I pray he does.  I pray that daily I can look more and more like him.  With this though I realize the reason  our son "looks" like me is because he spends time with me.  He studies me.  He knows my characteristics and mannerisms better than I do probably.  Without even thinking or trying he mimics them.  
This is how I will look more and more like Christ!  I must spend more and more time with him!  I must study him!  It's not about me "trying" to be like Christ.  It is about becoming so close to him, I begin to look like him without the trying.  
My nagging thought this week... who do I look like right now?
For this reason and so much more, I love adoption.

Here We Are....

Well.... here we are.  I am not one to blog.  In fact, I am not one to read a blog.  I was not even a facebooker until just recent.  I actually feel like a bit of a hypocrite taking a hold of social media in this way.  Not that I think it is wrong, it just is not who I am.  So why am I here?  Good question.
Here's the thing....I am attempting to wholeheartedly pursue Christ.  However, I am seeing that I am trying to tell Christ how I will and how I will not pursue him.  Very Contradictory, I know!  Over the past few weeks I have had the nagging thought of blogging, and I have fought it.  However, out of fear of maybe disobeying the Holy Spirit, I am giving in.  I fully expect that there will be nothing that I may "teach" others.  However, I pray, that by opening my heart and mind to this, that Christ will have full access to me!
This blog will be about a true passion of mine, Adoption!  We have been blessed to have accomplished the journey of adoption once, through the grace of God!  This journey of adoption has become much much more  than anything I would have ever anticipated or dreamed!  I am excited about sharing what God has done!