Well, I have no great excuses for why it has taken me so long to write Part 5 of our story. I honestly have been putting it off. Not because it is emotional or hard. It is because I cannot do justice to this part of our story. I have tried and tried to think of a way to write this part to even somewhat capture the feelings I experienced over these precious day, but I cannot. So I fear my attempt will fall short of accurately expressing this event, but here it goes.
Well from March 5th to March 8th, life was a whirlwind. We immediately switched gears from preparing for me to leave the country, to preparing our home and hearts for a baby. There were multiple phone calls to our caseworker asking about details we had forgotten to ask. Brainstorming about just the right gift to give our birth mom. Then of course the one thing I had no way to prepare for, what to say to our sweet birth mom. For anyone reading this who might be looking for some insight on what to say to the woman who is going to entrust you with her baby, I cannot help you. There was no way for me to prepare. We prayed A TON! That is the only preparation I could come up with.
March 8th- I will never forget that phone call. I was standing in the checkout lane a Target paying for my things. (DO NOT JUDGE ME! We needed diapers and formula!) My phone rang, on the other end I heard the best words ever spoken to me, "Mary, Isaiah was born about an hour ago. He is healthy and doing great! His birth mom is doing well also, and she would like you to come tomorrow as planned." I cried in the Target checkout line. I then hurriedly grabbed my things and rushed to call Adam. I told him our great news! We had a son! I sat in my car and cried some more. I prayed. I thanked and praised my Lord! Then I went and bought a car seat!
Isaiah's birth mom had asked that she spend 24 hours with him before we came to meet her and him. When I tell people that part of our story, I get a common question. "Did that make you nervous?" To be honest with you, No. I never thought twice about it. I can't say that either of us ever thought there was a possibility that we would not bring our son home with us. Looking back, I think, sure, the potential was there. Any birth mom can change their mind. It does happen. We really never had anything in us tell us to be concerned it would happen to us.
March 9th (our twins birthday!) we woke up and celebrated them! Adam had already taken the day off work, because he was supposed to be with the kids while I was gone. So we had a fantastic morning celebrating our double blessings! As the time grew closer to heading to the hospital, I grew more and more anxious. I will admit, I have never been so nervous in my entire life. My husband on the other hand, took a short nap before we left for the hospital! In the car on the way to the hospital the fear and anxiety grew. What do you say to a woman who is allowing you to love and care for her son? I had nothing. When we stepped out of the car and started walking toward the hospital entrance, an incredible peace came over me. I had no more fear. I was calm. There was no anxiety. It was surreal. It was a peace that surpassed all of my understanding. It was not me, it was our Lord. I could not believe we were walking in to meet our son. Our son that we had loved for months prior to his existence. Our son that we had already prayed for and cried for so many times. Now we would have a face to complete the picture of the sweet boy already in our hearts.
As we walked with our caseworker into the hospital room we met her. Our sweet birth mom. Then just like that, it happened. We became family. She was so sweet and strong when she asked us, "do you want to meet your son?" I cried. I cried a lot. She was so strong. How could I have only met this woman but have a love for her that felt like it would burst out of my heart? Then there was Isaiah. He was beautiful! All of the time, the waiting, the uncertainties, the money, all of it, he was worth all of it and more. We sat and held our son. We didn't have to tell ourselves to love him. We didn't have to tell ourselves, he was our son. We just did, we just knew. He was just as much our son as the two little boys sitting next to me that had been pulled from my uterus. Isaiah was pulled from my heart.
We spent over an hour sitting, holding and talking. She was so easy to talk to. She was so easy to love. We asked her questions. She asked us questions. I wanted to know this woman. I already knew she was strong, beautiful, loving, and brave. I wanted to know what had made her that way. I wanted to know, so that when we talk to Isaiah about his birth mom, he knows how amazing she is.
While we talked that day, she shared with us that adoption wasn't her first choice. She had actually scheduled an appointment and actually had gone to her appointment to "take care" of her pregnancy another way. She said she sat in the waiting room and something inside of her told her "don't do it." She got up and walked out. She then decided on adoption. Now, I cannot say this with absolute certainty, but I believe we prayed her out of that clinic. You see, there is a clinic not to far from the hospital that we where at that performs abortions. We drove past this clinic on countless occasions. We actually had walked there just a few months prior. Every time we passed it or stopped in front of it. We prayed. We prayed, not just for the babies. We prayed for the girls. We prayed for her.
If you get anything from reading this, get this, PRAY! Even if you are not sure who you are praying to, or why you are praying, PRAY! Give him a chance to show you! And if you know you are praying to our Lord and Savior, I urge you to do this, pray HUGE prayers! Do it! He is capable of answering! Be prepared though, he will change your life and take you somewhere you never thought you would be!
When we left the hospital that day I hugged that amazing woman. I hugged her and cried and thanked her. She comforted me! She thanked me! She is truly amazing. We kissed our sweet baby boy goodbye for the day and left him in the care of his loving mama. She never let him out of her sight while we were not there at the hospital. She soaked in every bit of him that she could. Her love for him, surpasses mine hands down. She loved him so much she sacrificed herself for him. Oh how I love her.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
The Story- Our Adoption Journey: Part 4
I apologize for the long break between post.... alright... were was I? Oh yes, we are coming upon one of my favorite parts!
Well, to refresh, we were wait-listed with our agency in August of 2011. We had been told since day one of our journey that the "normal" time to expect to wait would be 12-18 months. I heard that when we were told that, however, I will tell you, I of course thought we would be the exception. So as the days, weeks, and months went by I never went without full anticipation that we wouldn't get the phone call any day.
The agency that we were wait-listed with would send out a monthly update to all of their waiting families. They would give us a heads up of any birth moms that they were working with and ones that they anticipated would be looking at profiles soon. Their standard procedure was that they have the birth mom or birth parents look at profiles about 2 months prior to their due date. As of February of 2012 we had been looked at by maybe 2 birth moms. We hadn't been chosen by either. When the update came in February we discovered that there wouldn't be any birth moms ready to look at profiles until possibly April. After I read these kind of updates, I usually spent the rest of the day struggling with my restlessness in waiting and reminding myself that God's timing is perfect. It was really my only way of getting out of the cruddy attitude it left me in. Oh my restlessness.
Well, fortunately for me my younger sister quickly gave me something to redirect my focus on. She found out mid-February that she had won a trip to Australia to meet Taylor Swift and attend her concert in Australia. Lucky for me, my brother in law was too busy with work to take time off and I just happened to have my passport ready! So the next couple of weeks were filled with complete excitement as we prepared to go to Australia! Our Australia trip was scheduled for March 7th, 2012. Now, March is a pretty special month for our family . You see, my birthday is March 5th. Our twins birthday is March 9th. I was going to miss their birthday for Australia and Taylor Swift. While I felt like a terrible mom, my husband was very supportive and excited for me to go. He assured me that they would not hold it against me if I was not there on their 4th birthday. He also agreed to take their birthday off work and to spoil them like crazy in my absence. We made plans to celebrate their birthday the weekend before I left. Back to packing for Australia I went!
OK, now stick with me here, I am going to throw some dates at you, I wish I could draw you a timeline, but it is worth it if you see how this all played out!
During the months of January and February I had been feeling incredibly burdened to pray for our birth mom. Again, we technically didn't have a birth mom yet, however, I knew I needed to pray for her. We had always prayed for her. My sweet boys got so used to praying for our house to sell and our birth mom I was sure that they would never be able to pray again without praying for them! But this burden was different. I would be driving down the road and this overwhelming urge to pray for her would strike and it was almost like I couldn't help myself but to pray. It happened in the grocery store, the movie theater, as I cleaned the house. Constantly. I told Adam at one point, "I don't know why, but I feel like I need to pray for her all the time. Even though I don't even know who I am praying for." He is so simple sometimes. His advice? "Well, then you better keep praying." So I did.
Just to warn you, this is the part of our story that if I were reading this on someone else's blog, I would be very skeptical to believe. However, I am putting this all here because this is God's story. Also, this is so unbelievable, I still can't believe this is our story! Thursday February 23rd, was a normal day. That night I went to sleep and had a dream. In my dream I was hugely pregnant. It was so real. I knew what it was like to feel hugely pregnant, I had twins remember. This dream was so vivid. I could feel the baby move and kick. I remember feeling my stomach and feeling like it was as big as it ever was with the twins. When I woke up Friday morning, I told Adam kind of in passing, about the dream. He didn't really know what to think, all he said was, "huh, that's crazy." I went about my day, never thinking about it again.
Friday night (the 24th) I went to sleep. I had a dream. In this dream, Adam and I were at an educational meeting at our agency. While we were there our social worker pulled us aside and told us there was a birth mom there who would like to meet us. We were taken into a different room and met a beautiful young woman. We spent some time talking to her. She asked us questions. She had a two year old little boy. We met him. She was due with another baby boy in 2 weeks and she was scheduled to have a c-section. At the end of my dream she asked us if we would be her child's adoptive family. I woke up. When I woke up I remembered all of it. That dream was so vivid. I told Adam about it. I even remembered her name in the dream. I told Adam every detail. Really, at that point, I didn't think it was anything more than a dream. To be honest with you, I told Adam about it, and didn't give it another thought.
Saturday night, no dreams. On Sunday afternoon Adam was on the phone with his mom. His mom said to him, " I had the weirdest dream about your wife (me) last night. In my dream she was extremely pregnant. So pregnant that we actually were feeling the baby kick around in her belly. But you guys were trying to hide it from everyone. It was so strange!" Adam laughed and said, "Well, I can assure you she is not pregnant, and we have nothing to hide. That is a crazy dream!" Now, this is the point were we are going to seem like we are completely not intelligent people. Neither Adam or myself, put these dreams together. We never connected the fact that these dreams had all just occurred over a 3 night period and consisted of similar material. Nope, nothing. We missed it.
We went on with our week as normal. Just to remind you of where we are on our timeline. It is now the week of February 26th. On Monday mornings I attended a training meeting for a leadership position I was in at a local Bible Study. A gal in Bible study with me, stopped me afterwards and told me, "hey, you have been on my heart lately. I just wanted you to know I am praying for you." This is not an exaggeration. From Sunday the 26th to Monday the 27th, 6 people contacted me and told me the exact same thing! That night I told Adam, "I am kind of thinking that maybe something is going to happen to me and God is trying to either protect me with these people's prayers or prepare me with them." To be honest, I was doing great! I was getting ready for Australia. I thought these people were maybe wasting their time praying for me right now! Little did I know!
On Friday March 2nd, I woke up and started to get ready to go to a friends house to clean. Another friend and I enjoy cleaning and our friends family happened to be out of town for the week. Leaving us a nice empty house to clean any way we wanted! It was good therapy! As I did my hair I had this conversation going on in my head..." I think we are going to get a phone call today from the agency. No, there is nothing for them to call us about. No, the phone call with come Monday, that is my birthday. I would love to find out we are getting a baby on my birthday. Lord, I know you love me. I know I don't deserve a baby. But if you wanted to bring us a baby, it would be really cool to do it on my birthday."
That was it. Back to my day. Off to clean. That evening we were headed out to dinner with the boys and then to get some last minute things for their birthday party the next day. In the car, my phone rang. I answered it. It was our caseworker, Sarah. She started the conversation with "Hey, this is Sarah. I need to talk to you and Adam about a birth mom. She isn't our usual case." She went on to tell me about this birth moms situation. As she gave more details, it was as if I new them already. They were details from my dream I had exactly one week before. I kid you not, the details were exact. Down to her name. This birth mom was scheduled to have a c-section on March 8th, 6 days away. Sarah asked a question that seemed a little funny to me. She asked, "are you going to be around next week if this birth mom wanted to meet you guys?" (She didn't know I was going to Australia.) I immediately said, "Yes, I won't be going anywhere next week." Adam looked at me with a huge questioning look. If you remember, which he did, I was supposed to leave for Australia on the 7th! I knew then and there, I would not be going to Australia. Sarah said, "ok, she is going to look at profiles on Monday (March 5th). I will let you know either way." I said okay. Then quickly, said, "Wait! Do you know what the gender of the baby is?" Sarah laughed and said, "Oh yeah, I always forget to tell people that! It is a boy." I tried as hard as I could to hold back tears. I didn't do very good. I didn't ask Sarah how many other profiles were going to be shown. At that point I didn't need to know. I knew, we knew, that was our baby. In the car still, we turned down a different road and I said, "That is our son. We are supposed to name him Isaiah." I have no idea where that name came from. It wasn't one from our list. Adam said, yes, we are.
Well, now I needed to change gears. We decided that we didn't really want to tell anyone just yet. You see, when you tell people that you are being looked at by a birth mom, if she doesn't choose you, you have to deal with the let down and then let down other people. It is not fun. So as confident as we were, we decided we needed just to enjoy this on our own for now. However, we did think we needed to prepare my sister that I may not be going to Australia with her next week. Well, God had that worked out already. As we were out getting last minute birthday party things, we "happened" to run into my sister at a store. Now, I will tell you, this hadn't happened before that night and it hasn't happened since. We told her about our phone call. We agreed we wouldn't worry about working out the details of Australia and that we both trusted God to take care of all the details for us. We agreed with would deal with it Monday after we found out for sure.
On Saturday we had a fantastic time celebrating our amazing 4 year old boys birthdays! At the end of their party one of Adams family members asked us if we had heard anything about our adoption lately. He glanced at me and said completely straight faced, nothing for sure. That satisfied them, no one asked anything else. After they all left Adam said, "It is just like my mom's dream! We are extremely pregnant and we are hiding it from everyone!" We both laughed and sat in awe of God!
Monday, March 5th. My birthday! We did our very best to go about "normal" life. I attended my Monday leadership training and did my best not to look at my phone all morning! I prayed. Boy, did I pray. At 4:00 that afternoon, the phone rang. I answered. Sarah was on the other side, she said, "Mary, I want to let you know the birth mom that looked at you today, would like you guys to parent her child!" I feel like I need to insert a hundred exclamation points here, but I will refrain! She went through some details of how the next few days would look. A c-section was scheduled for March 8th. We were having a baby in 3 days! By far, the best birthday present God could ever give me!
Sunday, September 15, 2013
The Story- Our Adoption Journey: Part 3
During the summer as we completed our home study, we also decided to list our house for sale. We had been blessed with being able to build our house about 2 years before. However, this house never felt like home. I will say...it was a nice house. Other people would come over and tell us how much they loved our house and how fortunate we were. I may sound spoiled here, but it was nice, it just wasn't home. No matter what I tried to do to make it feel like home, it just felt like a house. So the decision to sell it wasn't to hard to make. Our thinking was that if we could sell our home, we would make a little profit off of it, and use that profit to pay for our adoption. Oh, how God must have laughed at all the ways I had figured out to do his work!
After we were wait listed I would like to say we waited very well. However, life still happens while you are waiting. I am not sure if every waiting family is like this but we tried to just live life as normal as possible. Yet, every moment of every day I had this constant awareness of the possibility that we could get a phone call or an email that would change our life forever. I would daily, sometimes hour by hour, remind myself to appreciate the two amazing little boys I had right in front of me. I remember so many prayers we prayed that God would help us to not live life for later, or wish away the blessings he had given us for right now. We did try so hard to enjoy every day, but still, a part of my heart was searching for our new addition.
We did try to use the waiting time to learn anything and everything we could about adoption. We read books, watched podcast, movies, read magazines and blogs, went to seminars and conferences. Anything we could do to learn and prepare. I think it was good for me, because it made me feel like I was doing something.
Well in the midst of waiting, educating, parenting, and cleaning our house for showings, life happened. About a month and a half after we got wait listed, our extended family entered into one of the darkest valleys we could have ever imagined entering. Day to day life was uncertain. Life was suffocating and hard. The ground we were walking was not one ever envisioned to be in our family. This upheaval in our family impacted Adam, myself and our kids in ways we did not for sure how to deal with. All we could do was depend on God.
Adam and I spent hours upon hours, mornings, and nights and often into sleepless nights, not knowing what else to do but pray. We cried out to God for our family. We didn't know what else to do. We questioned him and found comfort in him.
In early October we were weary. In fact, I would say weary was an understatement. I was done. I remember a particular weekend that I just had this sense of defeat. I entered into a weekend long pity party. I was probably a little angry at God. I remember telling him, I needed some control back. I felt like I had lost any and all sense of control in our lives. That was not easy for me.
On Sunday morning before church I walked out and found Adam praying next to the fireplace in our living room. I told him that I was not sure about adoption any more, maybe we should call tomorrow and take our names off the wait list. I needed some control back in my life. I couldn't control my extended families circumstances, we had showings at our house sometimes 2-3 times a week, and I wanted a baby but had relinquished that to our adoption plan. I remember telling Adam, lets just be done and try to get pregnant on our own. Adam sat there by the fireplace and said, "lets pray." He then went on to pray to our God who hears. He told God where we were and how we were feeling. He also recalled in his prayer how God had affirmed our adoption choice so many times in the past few months but here we were, weary and broken. He told God, "Lord, we need to hear clearly from you. We do not want to disobey you. But we are loosing the strength to continue, and we need some guidance from you. Lord, let us hear from you today." We then preceded to go to church.
I sat in the church pew that morning broken. Our worship pastor started to lead worship. After 2 songs into worship he said, " I would like to introduce a new song to you today." He went on to explain who had written the song and then said, "this song is about adoption." He explained that the song was about the beautiful way that God has adopted each of us through Jesus Christ. He then read Ephesians 1:3-6
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved."
He went on then to teach us a beautiful song about adoption. As we, okay, as the people around me sang,
(I was a crying mess in my pew) I worshiped our Lord who had indeed adopted me, by his grace. I also could not stop the aching in my heart for our child who would soon be adopted into our family. I was reminded of why we started down the journey of adoption in the first place. This is why, not because of us, but because of Christ.
Following worship our Pastor got up and shared a message from Mark. During the message he said, "if you have been given a calling from God, you do not have permission to bail just because of the storms you may encounter in life."
Adam and I walked out of church shaking that day. We sat in the car and I looked at Adam and said, "do you think anyone else got anything from church today? Or was just for us?" As we drove home we quickly came to the conclusion that we did not have permission to bail. These storms were an opportunity for us to depend on God in a new way. I remember the exact spot we were at when I said, "it is a moment like this, that I will look back on and someday if our child ever questions why we adopted him/her and challenges us if we were meant to or not, that I will say, we were inches from bailing, but God stopped us."
I lived on the encouragement from that day, through many rocky weeks ahead. That moment, when the God of the universe reminded me that he is in control, I don't have to be. The God who is my perfect father. My redeemer who has by his grace adopted me. This is why we adopt. In my heart of hearts, it is the only way I can love as he loves.
After we were wait listed I would like to say we waited very well. However, life still happens while you are waiting. I am not sure if every waiting family is like this but we tried to just live life as normal as possible. Yet, every moment of every day I had this constant awareness of the possibility that we could get a phone call or an email that would change our life forever. I would daily, sometimes hour by hour, remind myself to appreciate the two amazing little boys I had right in front of me. I remember so many prayers we prayed that God would help us to not live life for later, or wish away the blessings he had given us for right now. We did try so hard to enjoy every day, but still, a part of my heart was searching for our new addition.
We did try to use the waiting time to learn anything and everything we could about adoption. We read books, watched podcast, movies, read magazines and blogs, went to seminars and conferences. Anything we could do to learn and prepare. I think it was good for me, because it made me feel like I was doing something.
Well in the midst of waiting, educating, parenting, and cleaning our house for showings, life happened. About a month and a half after we got wait listed, our extended family entered into one of the darkest valleys we could have ever imagined entering. Day to day life was uncertain. Life was suffocating and hard. The ground we were walking was not one ever envisioned to be in our family. This upheaval in our family impacted Adam, myself and our kids in ways we did not for sure how to deal with. All we could do was depend on God.
Adam and I spent hours upon hours, mornings, and nights and often into sleepless nights, not knowing what else to do but pray. We cried out to God for our family. We didn't know what else to do. We questioned him and found comfort in him.
In early October we were weary. In fact, I would say weary was an understatement. I was done. I remember a particular weekend that I just had this sense of defeat. I entered into a weekend long pity party. I was probably a little angry at God. I remember telling him, I needed some control back. I felt like I had lost any and all sense of control in our lives. That was not easy for me.
On Sunday morning before church I walked out and found Adam praying next to the fireplace in our living room. I told him that I was not sure about adoption any more, maybe we should call tomorrow and take our names off the wait list. I needed some control back in my life. I couldn't control my extended families circumstances, we had showings at our house sometimes 2-3 times a week, and I wanted a baby but had relinquished that to our adoption plan. I remember telling Adam, lets just be done and try to get pregnant on our own. Adam sat there by the fireplace and said, "lets pray." He then went on to pray to our God who hears. He told God where we were and how we were feeling. He also recalled in his prayer how God had affirmed our adoption choice so many times in the past few months but here we were, weary and broken. He told God, "Lord, we need to hear clearly from you. We do not want to disobey you. But we are loosing the strength to continue, and we need some guidance from you. Lord, let us hear from you today." We then preceded to go to church.
I sat in the church pew that morning broken. Our worship pastor started to lead worship. After 2 songs into worship he said, " I would like to introduce a new song to you today." He went on to explain who had written the song and then said, "this song is about adoption." He explained that the song was about the beautiful way that God has adopted each of us through Jesus Christ. He then read Ephesians 1:3-6
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved."
He went on then to teach us a beautiful song about adoption. As we, okay, as the people around me sang,
(I was a crying mess in my pew) I worshiped our Lord who had indeed adopted me, by his grace. I also could not stop the aching in my heart for our child who would soon be adopted into our family. I was reminded of why we started down the journey of adoption in the first place. This is why, not because of us, but because of Christ.
Following worship our Pastor got up and shared a message from Mark. During the message he said, "if you have been given a calling from God, you do not have permission to bail just because of the storms you may encounter in life."
Adam and I walked out of church shaking that day. We sat in the car and I looked at Adam and said, "do you think anyone else got anything from church today? Or was just for us?" As we drove home we quickly came to the conclusion that we did not have permission to bail. These storms were an opportunity for us to depend on God in a new way. I remember the exact spot we were at when I said, "it is a moment like this, that I will look back on and someday if our child ever questions why we adopted him/her and challenges us if we were meant to or not, that I will say, we were inches from bailing, but God stopped us."
I lived on the encouragement from that day, through many rocky weeks ahead. That moment, when the God of the universe reminded me that he is in control, I don't have to be. The God who is my perfect father. My redeemer who has by his grace adopted me. This is why we adopt. In my heart of hearts, it is the only way I can love as he loves.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
The Story- Our Adoption Journey: Part 2
So in April of 2011 we called Bethany Christian Services to request an application. We filled out a preliminary application and then to get the "real" application we needed to send that back with $750. Ok, this was it for us. This was the plunge. It was easy to say we were doing this, now we needed to put our (correction, God's) money where our mouth was.
The week we filled out the preliminary application Adam received a few opportunities for side work. In that one week, he wrote 3 estimates and completed one job, each of them had one common number $750! I recall driving to church on a Sunday morning and in conversation I asked him about that work he had done that week. He told me about the estimates for $750 each, and then I asked him about the work he had completed, he said, "yeah, they paid me $750." I must have had a amazed looked on my face because when I turned at looked at him he said, "What? I put the money in the bank!" I told him, that wasn't it! We only needed $750 total to send in for the application fee! Here in one week time God had supplied three times that! We both laughed in amazement and Adam told me to be sure to send in the check the next day! So I did!
In May of 2011 we went to our Bethany office for the first time to sit down and meet with our case worker. We were so nervous and excited! It was a great experience. One question she asked us was, why were we doing this? We told her about the process God had taken us through over the previous year. We explained to her that we did not know how this would end. We told her we very well knew that we could go through this whole adoption process and never come out in the end with a child. But that was okay. The peace that we had received knowing we were fully obeying something God had called us to, was already reward enough. We told her, we didn't know why, or what exactly God had planned for us in this journey, but that is okay, we trusted God.
She then asked us if we knew how we were going to fund our adoption. We laughed kind of nervously. We told her, honestly, no. We told her that if she were to look at our bank account she would wonder why we were doing this! But, we were more certain about the promise God makes to us that if he calls us to something, he will equip us fully to be able to carry out his work. For us that would mean providing the money for this adoption.
While we were talking our case worker started crying. We didn't know if this was a good or bad thing. She simply apologized saying God was working on a few things in her own life and that what we said was something she needed to hear.
Two weeks later we went back for our second meeting with our case worker. When we sat down with her she explained that this was going to be her last meeting with us. She informed us that for a while God had been working on her heart and calling her to go back to school to complete her master's degree. She said she had kept putting it off because she didn't know how it was possible, or how she could financially do it. She said after meeting with us, she knew she didn't have to know, if God was calling her to do this, she could trust him to fully equip her! She thanked us for sharing with her at our previous meeting and wished us well on our adoption journey!
Well, even though this is not something we expected at all, we were so excited! God had allowed us at just the right time, to enter into this journey and encourage our awesome case worker to step out in obedience to him! It was so awesome to see God already use this journey to change lives! Not just our own!
We were introduced to our new case worker and during that summer we were able to complete our home study with her. She was also such a gift to us and we have loved and cherished the role she has had in our lives over the past couple of years!
At the very end of July and beginning of August 2011 we completed our home study. The first week of August we decided it would be nice to get away for a little family trip and we discussed going down to the Indiana State Fair. One of our favorite bands was playing a show there and we thought it would be fun to take the kids down to the concert. I found tickets to the concert on craigslist and started looking at hotel rooms. I called Adam and told him about the tickets I had found, they were great seats, in the second row! He told me, go ahead, book a hotel, get the tickets. When I went back online to do that I, out of habit, checked my email first. We had an email from Bethany Christian Services. I clicked on it an read an invoice stating that the remainder of our home study fee was due before they could wait list us, $1750. Hmmm.... not the most exciting email. I called Adam back. We discussed the fact that it probably wasn't right for us to spend money on a hotel room and concert when we needed to pay this bill. Adam said, "pay the bill." I paid it. I will admit it, I didn't pay it with a happy attitude. I really threw a little pity party for myself. Telling myself how I was such a martyr giving up this trip all for God's call. Seriously, selfish and pathetic.
Well, the next week went by and we got wait listed! That Friday night we went out to dinner and I made the snide remark that we should be at the concert right now! We got home and put the kids to bed in our "boring, non hotel, home" and sat down to watch the news. The anchor came on with breaking news out of the Indiana State Fair, a stage had collapsed at the Sugarland concert! The concert we were buying tickets for! The concert we were getting 2nd row tickets for, not just us, but our two boys also! Adam and I turned to each other in disbelief! The hair on my arms was standing on edge! I had chills all over my whole body! We could not believe how amazing God's timing was. We could have been there. If not for the bill from Bethany, we would have gone. God's timing is perfect.
At that concert that night 7 people were killed and 58 injured. Not only did he use this journey to change our lives but to save our lives.
The week we filled out the preliminary application Adam received a few opportunities for side work. In that one week, he wrote 3 estimates and completed one job, each of them had one common number $750! I recall driving to church on a Sunday morning and in conversation I asked him about that work he had done that week. He told me about the estimates for $750 each, and then I asked him about the work he had completed, he said, "yeah, they paid me $750." I must have had a amazed looked on my face because when I turned at looked at him he said, "What? I put the money in the bank!" I told him, that wasn't it! We only needed $750 total to send in for the application fee! Here in one week time God had supplied three times that! We both laughed in amazement and Adam told me to be sure to send in the check the next day! So I did!
In May of 2011 we went to our Bethany office for the first time to sit down and meet with our case worker. We were so nervous and excited! It was a great experience. One question she asked us was, why were we doing this? We told her about the process God had taken us through over the previous year. We explained to her that we did not know how this would end. We told her we very well knew that we could go through this whole adoption process and never come out in the end with a child. But that was okay. The peace that we had received knowing we were fully obeying something God had called us to, was already reward enough. We told her, we didn't know why, or what exactly God had planned for us in this journey, but that is okay, we trusted God.
She then asked us if we knew how we were going to fund our adoption. We laughed kind of nervously. We told her, honestly, no. We told her that if she were to look at our bank account she would wonder why we were doing this! But, we were more certain about the promise God makes to us that if he calls us to something, he will equip us fully to be able to carry out his work. For us that would mean providing the money for this adoption.
While we were talking our case worker started crying. We didn't know if this was a good or bad thing. She simply apologized saying God was working on a few things in her own life and that what we said was something she needed to hear.
Two weeks later we went back for our second meeting with our case worker. When we sat down with her she explained that this was going to be her last meeting with us. She informed us that for a while God had been working on her heart and calling her to go back to school to complete her master's degree. She said she had kept putting it off because she didn't know how it was possible, or how she could financially do it. She said after meeting with us, she knew she didn't have to know, if God was calling her to do this, she could trust him to fully equip her! She thanked us for sharing with her at our previous meeting and wished us well on our adoption journey!
Well, even though this is not something we expected at all, we were so excited! God had allowed us at just the right time, to enter into this journey and encourage our awesome case worker to step out in obedience to him! It was so awesome to see God already use this journey to change lives! Not just our own!
We were introduced to our new case worker and during that summer we were able to complete our home study with her. She was also such a gift to us and we have loved and cherished the role she has had in our lives over the past couple of years!
At the very end of July and beginning of August 2011 we completed our home study. The first week of August we decided it would be nice to get away for a little family trip and we discussed going down to the Indiana State Fair. One of our favorite bands was playing a show there and we thought it would be fun to take the kids down to the concert. I found tickets to the concert on craigslist and started looking at hotel rooms. I called Adam and told him about the tickets I had found, they were great seats, in the second row! He told me, go ahead, book a hotel, get the tickets. When I went back online to do that I, out of habit, checked my email first. We had an email from Bethany Christian Services. I clicked on it an read an invoice stating that the remainder of our home study fee was due before they could wait list us, $1750. Hmmm.... not the most exciting email. I called Adam back. We discussed the fact that it probably wasn't right for us to spend money on a hotel room and concert when we needed to pay this bill. Adam said, "pay the bill." I paid it. I will admit it, I didn't pay it with a happy attitude. I really threw a little pity party for myself. Telling myself how I was such a martyr giving up this trip all for God's call. Seriously, selfish and pathetic.
Well, the next week went by and we got wait listed! That Friday night we went out to dinner and I made the snide remark that we should be at the concert right now! We got home and put the kids to bed in our "boring, non hotel, home" and sat down to watch the news. The anchor came on with breaking news out of the Indiana State Fair, a stage had collapsed at the Sugarland concert! The concert we were buying tickets for! The concert we were getting 2nd row tickets for, not just us, but our two boys also! Adam and I turned to each other in disbelief! The hair on my arms was standing on edge! I had chills all over my whole body! We could not believe how amazing God's timing was. We could have been there. If not for the bill from Bethany, we would have gone. God's timing is perfect.
At that concert that night 7 people were killed and 58 injured. Not only did he use this journey to change our lives but to save our lives.
Friday, August 23, 2013
The Story- Our Adoption Journey: Part 1
Over the past two years we have said countless times that our adoption story is not ours, we strive to make it Gods. We love to share it with others, because it is not about us, it is all about Him! We have had the opportunity to share our adoption journey in a few different venues. I think it is time to share it here.
We are asked very often, why are we adopting? What led us down this road? I will start from the very beginning.
We met when we were 13 years old! We attended church together, and literally grew up together! We got married in 2003 and in 2008 we were blessed with amazing rambunctious twin boys! In May 2010 we started talking about growing our family more. This is where our adoption story started.
I would often look at my amazing boys and I cherished their sweet bond that they had even at the age of two. I would look at them and wonder if twins ever got separated in adoption. This led me to calling different adoption agencies in our area. I was just so curious how common it was that a twin situation would come through an agency. I spoke that day with a great case worker from Bethany Christian Services who answered so many questions. She offered to send out an information packet and invited us to a informational meeting. We received the informational packet and looked it over. I will be honest though, it was quickly dismissed. We considered adoption very briefly but the list of reasons why it wasn't "right for us" began to develop. We told ourselves... it just doesn't make sense, we can have our own biologic children, we are not meant to adopt, and of course...it costs so much.
Well.... little did we know that God had started to work on our hearts. As we studied Gods word that spring and summer it seemed like everything we studied pointed to adoption. We would listen to a radio program, and it would point to adoption. Adoption... the word taunted our minds. We would discuss to together. We would think and pray about it alone. We both put it off. This wasn't for us. Or so we thought!
In September of 2010 we received a mailer from Bethany Christian Services that said they would be having an informational meeting at a church in our local community. We decided, what could it hurt? We decided to go. We attended the meeting in October. We walked out of the meeting and sat down in the car, we looked at each other, and we both knew our hearts had both changed completely. There was nothing drastic said or done at the meeting. I think it was really just a simple thing that God led us to, to allow us to open our hearts up to his will for us, not our plans for us.
When we drove home that night I remember Adam saying, "ok, I really would like to adopt, but it just costs so much. I don't think we can do it."
I knew he was right. In July of that year I had given into the call to stop working and be a full time stay at home mom. While I loved being a homemaker... we both missed the additional income. In the auto body repair world, summer months are often slow, as that summer had been. Things were tight already. There was not "extra" for an adoption.
However, after that meeting in October, we both agreed that we would continue to pray about it. In December Adam came home on his birthday informed me that there had been some changes at work that day. In short, in one days time, he found out that his salary would DOUBLE! This was a HUGE answer to prayer. We praised God so loudly that day... forget it... that month!
Well, while one would think this would be our "sign" to go ahead with adoption, we are a little more hard headed. We continued with the excuses, in fact, the list grew...
This continued until March and April of 2011. God did not give up though. He really taunted our heads and our hearts. He flooded us with adoption. It was everywhere...seriously...everywhere. I even remember one day, the boys were watching a tv show I was in the kitchen behind them. This show had a word of the day everyday. On this particular day the word was Adopt. I stopped dead in my tracks. I had finished praying about adoption not one hour before. I am telling you it was everywhere. However, I did not want to keep nagging my husband about it. Little did I know, I didn't have to! God was doing it for me!
I don't remember the exact day but it was a day in April when adoption came up in discussion again. We decided we would at least start the application process. I made the phone call.
Friday, July 19, 2013
77%
77%. That is the percentage of Americans according to the Dec 2012 Gallup poll, that identify themselves as "Christian". 77%.
Christian is defined by Merriam-Webster as "one who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ."
So 77% of Americans profess belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ.
I am reiterating this because I am having trouble understanding how this adds up. You see, the culture around me does not reflect the teachings of Jesus Christ. Particularly in one area. The Sanctity of Life. There are few things that I am sure of but one of the things I know without a doubt is that Jesus Christ saw life as Sacred! In fact he thought life was so important, that he died for it! So how is it then, if Jesus Christ taught that life was Sacred, that the 77% do not? Again, I have trouble understanding this.
This year alone the sanctity of life has taken great hit. According to the Planned Parenthood website "abortions are very common, 1 in 3 women will have an abortion by the time they are 45 years old." (My heart aches just reading those words.) "Anyone of any gender or age can now by 'emergency contraception' over the counter for anywhere from $10.00-$50.00."
Please hear this.... yes, the life of this unborn child is sacred, however, to each woman out there who makes this decision for herself, your life is sacred also. You are so precious. Please know that you have a Savior. You have a perfect parent who has given you one awesome instruction book. He loves you so much he went to the cross for you. He does not want you to hurt. He promises to never leave you. He is so faithful. He wants to carry every burden you try to bear. Please know, yes your child means a lot, but so do you.
To the 77%.....
James 1:27
"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."
I want to go out there and say.... this sounds like a command to me. Not just a suggestion.
Now, I do not write this to tell every Christian that they need to adopt. Even though that is our calling and passion, I know God does not call everyone to this. However, each one of us needs to be fulfilling this command in some way. Maybe by being a parent figure to a child who does not have a stable home life. Maybe it is to a college student who hadn't quite been equipped for the world yet. Maybe it is a child you interact with through your own child's school or athletic program. Maybe God is nudging you to be more involved in adoption. I urge you to do this.... seek God... he wants to help you fulfill this command. Trust me! He will show you your orphan and widow.
Lastly, the last part of this says we are to keep ourselves unstained from the world. 77% I urge you... it is time to stand out. It is time to look different than the world. It is not just about believing the teachings of Jesus Christ, but acting on them. See you out there!
Christian is defined by Merriam-Webster as "one who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ."
So 77% of Americans profess belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ.
I am reiterating this because I am having trouble understanding how this adds up. You see, the culture around me does not reflect the teachings of Jesus Christ. Particularly in one area. The Sanctity of Life. There are few things that I am sure of but one of the things I know without a doubt is that Jesus Christ saw life as Sacred! In fact he thought life was so important, that he died for it! So how is it then, if Jesus Christ taught that life was Sacred, that the 77% do not? Again, I have trouble understanding this.
This year alone the sanctity of life has taken great hit. According to the Planned Parenthood website "abortions are very common, 1 in 3 women will have an abortion by the time they are 45 years old." (My heart aches just reading those words.) "Anyone of any gender or age can now by 'emergency contraception' over the counter for anywhere from $10.00-$50.00."
Please hear this.... yes, the life of this unborn child is sacred, however, to each woman out there who makes this decision for herself, your life is sacred also. You are so precious. Please know that you have a Savior. You have a perfect parent who has given you one awesome instruction book. He loves you so much he went to the cross for you. He does not want you to hurt. He promises to never leave you. He is so faithful. He wants to carry every burden you try to bear. Please know, yes your child means a lot, but so do you.
To the 77%.....
James 1:27
"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."
I want to go out there and say.... this sounds like a command to me. Not just a suggestion.
Now, I do not write this to tell every Christian that they need to adopt. Even though that is our calling and passion, I know God does not call everyone to this. However, each one of us needs to be fulfilling this command in some way. Maybe by being a parent figure to a child who does not have a stable home life. Maybe it is to a college student who hadn't quite been equipped for the world yet. Maybe it is a child you interact with through your own child's school or athletic program. Maybe God is nudging you to be more involved in adoption. I urge you to do this.... seek God... he wants to help you fulfill this command. Trust me! He will show you your orphan and widow.
Lastly, the last part of this says we are to keep ourselves unstained from the world. 77% I urge you... it is time to stand out. It is time to look different than the world. It is not just about believing the teachings of Jesus Christ, but acting on them. See you out there!
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Dear Birth Mom
I write this entry with much sensitivity. This is a sensitive area, one not to be misrepresented, I pray I do not cause any hurt with this. I only write this entry because it has been nagging at my mind. I lay in bed at night thinking about this subject. It burdens my heart like nothing else.
Birth mom..... what do you think of when you hear those words? I am ashamed to say, but I had many preconceived notions about birth moms before we entered into the adoption process. For that I am sorry. I was ignorant and naive. That is not an excuse. It is an admission. I think if we are all honest, when we hear "birth mom" we probably each have a "picture" of who would "fit" into that label. I can guarantee you, we are all probably way off.
Our society, media, and culture, especially in our churches (again, sorry, I really am not trying to offend) do not have an accurate view of the amazing women labeled birth mom. Birth moms on television are not accurately portrayed. Birth moms are given little or no credit of how amazing they are.
So who are they? We each encounter birth moms every day. I promise you, you probably do not recognize them, because they do not fit your "picture." These women sit among us in class, work beside us, worship next to us, serve us, and are friends to us. Yet they carry with them a pain that they may hide very well. They carry with them a hurt that has left a constantly open wound in their heart. A wound so deep, that Christ himself is the only one who can heal it.
We do not need to know their circumstances as to how they became a birth mom. We know everything we need to know about these women based on their choice to be a birth mom. We know they are the bravest, most courageous, strongest women out there. They are selfless. They know a love that is beyond anything I can ever express or imagine. They know they true meaning of sacrifice. They love like no one would choose to love. They love, knowing they may not ever get to experience this loved being returned to them. You birth mom, are beautiful. You deserve respect. You deserve the love of your child, much more than I ever will. You are incredible. I can only imagine being as brave and as selfless as you.
Thank you. Thank you. Those words do not say enough but this is the one area I fall short of knowing what to say. I only pray that God will bless you so abundantly that you may have just a taste of the portion of blessing you deserve. Thank you.
This is not just to our beautiful birth mom (to whom I am grateful every day), but to any woman out there who carries with her this hurt. I pray today you experience the love of Christ like no other. That you experience a love that reminds you of your treasured child. That you will know you are not forgotten.
I love you dear birth moms.
Ephesians 3:14-19
14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family[a] in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
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